KILLERWEIGHT by Nina

June 1994

 

If I destroy myself

I still can't destroy my Self

If I love my Self

I still don't love myself

If I die to my Self

I truly free myself.

 

You say Life will

Knock me off the ledge

Friend, I've already been there

And back and back and there

So many times I don't remember

Kraziness was saner

So I decided to stay there.

If the upper strata of society

has the mental capacity

To destroy humanity -

Unjust laws, wars, greed, police brutality

The count me in with

The beggar, thief and imbecile,

the very bottom of the human slaghill.

Yes, I am the outcast

But I bet you I'll outlast

Any clever fool

From now til infinity.

Serendipity

Was never my forte

The doctor said I was very naughtly,

Sick and mad,

anorexic, psychopathically bad.

Gave me 6 months and a drip to live

But a cure he couldn't give.

With nothing left to lose,

Not a chance to stand,

I walked out the door,

Slipped through their hands.

The truth was the medicine

he should have fed me on

But I got that another way:

From the Bible, my conscience

And what the black man say.

I face facts and revelations -

Play sceptic with explanations.

Now the five stone is 8 stone freak

And she has learned truth to seek.

I'm living and laughing,

Giving and mastering

The weapon of love

In a 'black and white' world

There's no room for colour

But that's what I am,

God-created not faded,

Raised by a mother,

Spirit in paradise,

Body now dust

But this woman taught me

The Lord God to trust.

My heart is my story -

It's not written on skin.

Stop staring at my face

And start staring within.

Learn to read a person right

Cuz Life's not printed in

Black and white.

 

 

xxxx