That is the first question you ask yourself.? It?s the question that makes your heart ache so much and it never goes away.? More questions follow: why didn?t we see the signs?? Was he depressed?? Am I that unapproachable?? Did he try to tell me something was wrong and I didn?t listen? What was so wrong that made him do this?? The questions go on and on. The pain dulls but the heartache and questions never go away. There are so many people affected when someone close commits suicide: family, friends, schoolteachers, neighbours?the list can go on forever. We all have to ask ourselves the question: what makes a young person want to take their own life?? The family and friends they leave behind start to question everything that they thought was normal. Then the guilt starts to sink in.? You begin to think of things like: if only I had done this or that?? Why wasn?t I there when they needed me?? Why didn?t I sense anything was wrong?? You become so consumed with guilt and unanswered questions that it turns into anger: anger at yourself.? It somehow becomes your fault (even when it?s not).? No one can comfort you.? Yes, you listen to what family and friends are saying and might even agree if only to get them to shut up.

What I would like to say to any young person or not-so-young person:? if you ever think that suicide is the only way out, please think again. Talk to someone about what you?re feeling.? Not enough people are talking to each other face to face.? Tell your mum, dad, sister, brother, best friend, teacher, friends, mum or dad. Tell them what?s wrong and the way you feel.? If they don?t listen the first time, shout, scream until someone listens because what might seem like the end of the world to you can be sorted out and if you feel like having a good cry, do it. Don?t ever be afraid to cry. Remember: it?s the first sound we ever made.?

I know the world isn?t perfect and life is the hardest job we will ever have with the worst wages but we can make our lives as perfect as we want it to be.? If you really feel there is no one to tell your feelings and fears to then get a pen and paper and write them down and you never know ? you just might be the next John Lennon. Even if you think you can?t draw, still grab a pencil and draw what?s in your mind. That could be the start of your great talent. We will never know what we?re good at if we don?t give it a try. There is so much you can achieve and so much to explore. Everyone of us is precious and life is for living so let?s start living.? If you do feel that there is no way out except for suicide, please ask yourself the question why?? Do you really want to leave a lifetime of heartache behind. Tomorrow is a brand new day and could be the first day of the rest of your life.

While there is life, there is hope.

P.S. I?m just a normal mum, daughter, sister who has been affected by suicide. Thank you for taking the time to read this.